nrvs

Last night my laptop’s power supply stopped working.

Fortunately the bottom component of the thing’s plug is mostly transparent, allowing me to assess the cause of the problem. It seems the little screw keeping the green and yellow wire attached to its connection point had somehow unscrewed itself resulting in a broken connection.

Being who I am, and knowing that I needed the laptop for an early meeting the following morning, I decided to make a comprehensive plan as to how I would fix this evil scenario once I got to the office. Here it is:

1. Arrive at work
2. Inspect broken plug
3. Notice strange Snap On Mechanism joining two main plug components
4. Insert house key into Plug Disengagement Slot
5. Hurt finger
6. Grumble
7. Attempt to open plug with office desk key
8. Bend shit out of office desk key
9. Look around sheepishly
10. Notice instruction to ‘Insert Screwdriver and turn’
11. Search for screwdriver in pants pockets
12. Walk to Shoprite
13. Spend R9.89 on Mr Electricity Plug
14. Spend R11.98 on Precision Screwdriver Set
15. Return to office
16. Marvel audibly about cost of Precision Screwdriver Sets
17. Attempt to open Snap On mechanism with Precision Screwdriver
18. Fail
19. Curse Snap On Plug
20. Call Meeting Organisers and propose new time
21. Take Snap On Plug to building stairwell
22. Smash Snap On Plug twice against wall
23. Wonder if Snap On Plug felt the pain it deserved for being such a dick about the whole thing
24. Return to desk with bare Power Supply Wire
25. Attempt to unscrew Mr Electricity Plug with First Precision Screwdriver
26. Break First Precision Screwdriver
27. Feel cold sweat on legs
28. Attempt to unscrew Mr Electricity Plug with Second Precision Screwdriver
29. Repeatedly lose grip on Second Precision Screwdriver
30. Walk to kitchen and wrap cloth around Second Precision Screwdriver handle
31. Attempt to unscrew Mr Electricity Plug with Second Precision Screwdriver
32. Repeatedly lose grip on Second Precision Screwdriver
33. Sit down on floor for a little while
34. Attempt to unscrew Mr Electricity Plug with Kitchen Knife
35. Succeed
36. Regain faith in the universe and its plan for self
37. Open Mr Electricity Plug
38. Wonder if Mr Electricity has ever seen the inside of a plug
39. Insert Power Supply Wires into respective Mr Electricity plug holes
40. Attempt to screw Power Supply Wires into respective Mr Electricity Plug holes
41. Inadvertently detach each of Mr Electricity Plug’s 12 components from one another
42. Renounce God
43. Storm out of office
44. Kick child into street
45. Trip on sidewalk curb
46. Roar at Scandinavians from the ground
47. Crawl into Shoprite
48. Seek out non Mr Electricity Plug
49. Fail
50. Strangle Shoprite clerk with nearby loaf of bread
51. Exit Shoprite
52. Walk down Main Road towards city
53. Twitch
54. Find hardware store
55. Suppress debilitating rage
56. Buy new plug
57. Return to office
58. Fix plug without further problem
59. Apologise to colleagues
60. Call meeting organisers and request for meeting to be moved to another day

I’m happy to say that, so far, everything is going according to plan.

The uncooperative fool that started it all